Fun story I’m on a boat with my family and there is no wifi so that’s great. Also theres really bad service cause we’re in the miDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE AHKGGFSGFSFDSJHFFJ

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toomanyfandomssolittletime:

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

its really hard being a Hindu, because i wanna taste beef but i can’t because of religion. damn.

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wAIT WHAT

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mY SKIN IS WHITE???

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I’M NOT INDIAN???? I’VE NOT BEEN A HINDU FOR 16 YEARS BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE ALSO HINDUS??

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cAN I FINALLY STOP WORSHIPPING COWS?!?!?!!

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shawnspenstar:

My friend’s dad used to work at a movie theatre where a lot of celebrities came to apparently and one time Tom Hanks came in and he was feeding tickets into the machine and couldn’t see anything so the guy up top was like “dude, that’s Tom Hanks” and her dad was like “yeah right if that’s Tom Hanks I’ll start eating these tickets” and Tom Hanks leans over the counter and whispers “start eating the tickets” 

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batreaux:

well, son, i deeply misunderstood your birthday request for COD but we still need to eat all this fish

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geneticallyidenticals:

*cringes at 9 year old me*

*cringes at 13 year old me*

*cringes at year ago me*

*cringes at day ago me*

*cringes at future me*

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A Clitoris is actually an undeveloped penis; since we all, at some point, are both male and female in the uterus, before the dominate gene takes over, the penis on a female and a male is actually the same. And once the dominate gene takes over for a male, the clit actually develops into a penis, so technically, when a girl says: suck my dick… I guess it’s kinda politically correct…

hippodude:

tittlywinkss:

awkwaben:

sherlock—kun:

kcc0:

mooooonbear:

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That’s also why guys have nipples. 

wow i actually didn’t know that

Lol when I took gender studies in high school our teacher told us this and every guy in the room looked terrified

Basic mammalian biology.

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ravclaw:

homework to do: hella

homework i’ve done: negative hella

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adultnapped:

isn’t it creepy that from the day you are born you start to die

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indevampire:

i think there is no greater dark magic than the cha-cha slide

you will never get a group of people obeying every command so quickly as you will by putting on that song.

every previous conversation grinds to a halt as everyone goes to the left and then takes it back now y’all

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douhgnut:

why get a job when you can sell oregano to middle-schoolers and tell them it’s weed

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